Romantic relationships | Julia

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Romantic relationships | Julia

It feels like we talk about relationships quite often in this blog, but hopefully no one minds and instead learn from our experiences instead.

Nanda once said, “Anything with ship in it is hard.” I totally agree! Courtship, hardship, relationship, they are all hard (friendship or a romantic relationship). Even a ship is hard, if you don’t believe me, go find yourself a ship and bang your head on it. I’m sure you’ll know that a ship is hard.

I learned that friendships are hard through experience. I’ve lost many friends through emotional battles and sacrifices. I’ve been through many emotional friendship roller coasters to know that most friendships will come and go; which is perfectly fine. People are send into your life teach you lessons and help you grow and once their purpose is over in your life, they will eventually leave.

Romantic relationships; these are harder.  I am not sure if it is because of age or the fact that the scripture had always drill the fact that when finding a partner we have to find a partner with the same faith, same “status” and same vision (indo scripture), nevertheless, it seemingly to have become more and more difficult for me to be able to find a partner.

Recently, I have been talking and hanging out with a guy a lot. Actually, that is a lie. I should say that I was. For the time that we were talking and hanging out, it was nice but I have also found out that most likely, he is not for me. Although we are of the same faith, the rest of us is so different. We are certainly are not of the same status, we are at such a polar opposite when it comes to status. Yes, status such as richness, intelligence or hierarchy may not 100% a deal breaker but it will be a very difficult challenge to simply over look especially when the gap is so large. When we are just hanging out, sure it is something that we can overlook but once the future come into play, it will be more and more difficult.

This man, in term of wealth, he is 300% time wealthier than I am. I live almost from paycheck to paycheck. I work hard, I need to work hard to make end meets. While he, does not. He goes to eat at a fancy restaurant while I go to Chinatown for food. He can buy a plane ticket at the last minute because to him the price is fine while I haven’t taken a vacation, ever, because I can’t afford not to work for a day. When I talk about saving money or finding things on sale, he can only nods and pretends that he understand but in reality, he has no idea what that is like.

When it comes to intelligence, I’m sure I am not that far behind but because we are of two different majors, it is a little bit difficult for us to talk about our jobs. It is harder for use to share about what happens at work because we know that we are of two different professions and it is difficult for us to understand each other’s story.

I really want to be able to say that it will be fine with all the differences but I in my heart I know that it will not be. We are two different people, we are so different that sometimes I find it tiring to create a conversation because I don’t know what else we can talk about and relate to each other with. At times when it is just the two of us, I feel more burden than happy and I don’t think that it is healthy for me to feel. Even-though the romantic part of this relationship has ended, I believe that we can still have a great friendship as long as we can keep somewhat in contact with each other.

When a relationship stops making you happy, that is the time when you have to have the strength to walk away because at that moment, it stopped being worth it. Know that God, has your path in his hands. If it is how God meant it to be, everything will work out but if it is not; it will still never work no matter how much you want it or how much you try to make it work.

Remember that you are not defined by the age you get married. You are not defined by whom you are dating. You are defined by how you look at yourself in the mirror. If you are happy than nothing else truly matter. Take care of yourself and love yourself first!


Two ladies set out to conquer the world. Just kidding, none of us are ever that ambitious. We are just two individuals who have known each other for a very long time (more than a decade now) that wanted to venture out to collaborate on a project together. We are “TOOCONFIDENTIALMESS” – too as in 'two' (Jule & Nanda) and too as in well, too. Confidential as in, it is our not so little secret to the world and mess as in our perfectly imperfect lives.

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