Engagements, weddings, and childbirth seems to be the trend around my friends lately. When you are still single all of those events makes you feel quite old and alone. Personally have come to terms with being alone because for me being alone is a choice. I set too high of a standard and way too picky when come to choosing a partner, although, I probably shouldn’t be at this age (according to the “norm” standard). Unfortunately, I am not the norm.
Along with these life events are invitations. Invitations to engagement parties, wedding and baby showers. I have been alone for awhile but I don’t typically feel alone attending events until my most recent wedding event when I had to attend it by myself. I mean, I usually attend weddings by myself but on a normal base within that wedding event I have multiple friends that are also attending that makes me feel not so alone.
Just recently I had to attend a wedding in Michigan. It is the wedding of one of my closest friend; we don’t often see each other being that we far apart but we have a bond that is explainable. We have been friends for the longest time and she has been there for me thru my adolescence, awkward stages of life, helping me thru passing my accounting classes, and have just been there for me for as long as I could remember that I knew I had to be there for her wedding.
This would have been just another typical wedding if we were to have common friends attending but unfortunately that was not the case. I knew of her friends, family and they knew of me but I had never officially met them; so that was another challenge. All I knew was that I was very nervous, even until the day of my arrival there. I was going to a new state and attending an event where I didn’t know many people and all on my own. I am not a very social person and I can get very awkward. But thankfully her friends are very social; I was not completely blend in but it was enough for me to get thru the event not feeling so alone.
Few tips and tricks that I learned thru this experience to ease me thru are:
- Arriving early, a day or two before the wedding. Arriving early give you the chance to meet friends and families of the bride/groom prior to the event. That way from not knowing anyone, you get to know some people before getting to the wedding. This made the night of the wedding easier for me because then there was familiar faces.
- Ask if the couple needs help the day of the wedding. Helping out the event also gives you an advantage of getting to know people in a smaller setting before jumping into the event full of people you don’t know. I helped my friend’s cousin out with the center pieces and flowers and that made me feel more a part of the event and I got to know more people that way also.
- Put away your phone. When you put away your phone it gives other guest to approach you and talk to you. Talking to other guest allows you to make friends and it will make you feel less alone. By doing so I was able to get to know the all the guest that was at my table and we were able to talk, share and laugh together.
For me the process of getting to know others that was there truly help me on top of having my friend’s friends being so social and open to me. Going to a wedding alone could be scary but if it is done correctly it is not only a chance for you to be there for your friend but also a chance for you to broaden your connections. At the end my nerved calmed down and I was glad that I went.
Have anyone been my position? Going to an event where you barely know anyone and did not bring a date? How was it? Were you nervous? If you were how did you over come it?